¡Lotería Lesbolas! Primera Tabla

“Do you, you know,” ask curious young men, snipping fingers in the air, “scissor?”


To answer them one and all, yes.

We spend most of our time scissoring. Our thighs are often chapped and our beavers grow bald as Mr./Mrs. Garrison’s head.

We break hips as we lock lower lips.

Since scissoring is all I care about doing, in fact I’m cutting paper dolls right now, I would like everybody to scissor with me.

Grab the nearest pair.

and scissor the following 16 images from the card deck below.

If you can bring yourself to stop scissoring, which will be impossible once you start, arrange the cards in a 4×4 grid. That will be your first tabla, or bean-go card, for  ¡Lotería Lesbolas! which will be coming to you live from Guadalajara, a city where a Saddam Hussein lookalike serves tacos al pastor at every corner and and every lady who looks like Saddam Hussein might be Saddam Hussein.

¿Al pastor o pacostani?


El Mata Esposos

El Lonche

La Tampexicana

Los Eclear Braices

La Verdad

El Jorder

La Existencialista

El Bidi Bidi Bom Bom

El Cristo de Milo

El “Snots”

La Big Red

El Romano

El Grinder App

El Doctor

La Secadora


These belong to  a 54 card set.

Más mañana.



  1. Tijera de cocina
    Tierra de cochina

    This is the dopest loteria game these peepers have ever laid eyes on! The traditional game is so boring. Essept for El Borracho y El Negrito. Both important words all kids should know.

  2. OMG! I think your show “Jorders Without Borders” should include a Migra and showcase the lack of fashion sense they have with their uniforms, then TLC would pick it up for sure! maybe have guest appearances from Clinton and Stacey from What Not To Wear!

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