Today, TJ and I travel to my hometown, Santa Maria, a strawberry-scented village that was shoehorned into the history books after a young man accused Michael Jackson of inviting him to make his first communion in bed.
Santa Maria will probably never host the Olympics, but in 2005, at its flea of a courthouse, which operates a thriving drug court, Santa Maria did host the People of the State of California v. Michael Joseph Jackson! (Exclamation point excluded from official record.)
Unlike MJ, TJ and I spread neither fame, paparazzi, increased traffic, or skin disorders.
Since TJ fears snakes more than Michael Jackson feared Child Protective Services, this three-hour car ride might be her last. In preparation, feel free to post your obituaries, preferably those that rhyme, in the comments section. Thank you.