In June, a graduating senior brought me a cup of coffee. He sat on a desk, watching me drink his dark gift, and confessed, “Gurbz, before I met you, I didn’t like gay people. But after experiencing you, and your class, I have to agree with you: Gay people do exist to spread joy.”
Months before, when this kid had asked me, “What’s the point of gay people?” I had voiced our manifesto:
Gay people exist to bring joy to this planet.
Our joy-bringing manifests when we share our humor, my people are a funny people, but it also manifests when we share our aesthetics. My people are a beauty-making people.
Our joy manifests when we create kindness.
Throughout our species’ history, while straights have looked for excuses to bump into each other and make more straights, gays have followed, adopting their prolific accidents. While straights have been busy suckling babies while making more babies, gays have been the ones to swaddle grandma as she becomes a baby. Gays have changed grandpa’s diapers as he reverts to baby. When that aunt or uncle has gotten so sick they can’t move anymore and everyone has been too busy planning some snot-nosed thing’s first communion or shopping for its first day of school, the gay has gone to feed, bathe, powder, and clothe this sufferer. “Spinsters” have taught this world’s children subjects from A to P.E. Lesbians have taken in all the abandoned pets.
Think about all the things gay people have done for this planet.
Think about our evolutionary function when it comes to making people laugh, making this place look pretty, and taking care of people that might not be so cute anymore.
Thank a gay. Holler at a homo. Commend a queer.
Or else, we’ll secede.