image

AMERICAN OBJECT IV: Ruby Compass Rose

(Note to the reader: I think I’m going to start referring to this project as American Abject)

Sometimes, people make the mistake of inviting me places to talk about the things I’ve written or done.

Recently, I got invited to UCLA to talk to undergrads taking English/ethnic studies with Professor Marissa K. Lopez. Her students read a story I wrote about cruising called Cruising and Marissa asked me to be “in conversation” with her about my work, both literary and visual, in front of her ethnic scholars of English/English scholars of ethnicity. I’ve done the “in conversation” thing a couple of times and I don’t mind it. I like talking and I love talking shit. Remember what Olympia Dukakis’ character says in Steel Magnolias? If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit next to me. Let’s talk shit. Let’s talk shit as a family. Shit talking is actually a sign of deep affection in many cultures, mine espesh.

Marissa’s class meets in (Honey) Bunche(s of Oats) Hall. I got there like ten minutes early. As Marissa set up her powerpoint, some chairs, and our table, I plopped down among her students. I chilled.

image

I was just existing, probably fumbling for a nub of lip gloss or staring hard at someone’s goiter. A student sitting in the row behind me, kind of diagonalish from me, moved in a way that made me glance at her.

image

As we made eye contact, she declared womanhood’s mantra: “I’m sorry!” After this submissive performance, she added, “I didn’t mean to stare at you!”

“Oh,” I replied and I said something like, “That’s not why I turned around!”

She responded with something kind of like, “Oh, I didn’t want you to think I was staring at you… but…it’s just that…you remind me of Ruby Rose! I mean that as a compliment!”

image

(all the exclamation points indicate uptalk! there’s no shame in uptalk! there’s no shame in wommin’s speech! vocally fry EEEEVVVVVEEEERRRRYYYYYTTHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIING!)

“Thank you!”

“I didn’t want you to be like all why is that girl staring at me? It’s just that your hair and your tattoos and stuff remind me of her!”

“No worries!” I offered. I always feel very yogic when I say no worries. “I totally know what you’re talking about with the staring thing! One time, I was in Orange County, shopping at Buffalo Exchange, and this white girl who was working there was staring at me and I was like that bitch thinks I’m stealing cuz I’m MEXICAN! SHE’S A RACIST BITCH! And I started getting all chola on her in my head and then she goes, ‘Excuse me?’ and I go, ‘Yeah?’ all ready to kick her ass, and she goes, ‘You have pretty eyes.’”

The student and I cracked up. Marissa motioned for me to come up and talk. I (ruby) rose and stumbled to the front of the room.

image

Before I talk about what Marissa and I talked about and what I did to her class, I’m going to admit that I sort of lied to the student. I lied to her about part of what happened at Buffalo Exchange. What the Orange County shop girl told me wasn’t that I had pretty eyes. She actually said, “I’m sorry I keep looking at you. Its just that you’re beautiful.” And then she described parts of me to myself with a lot of vocal fry.

When moments like that happen, when someone of any gender comments upon my “to-be-looked-at-ness,” they trigger a maelstrom of gross feelings that wind up involving my whole body, including my skin. Among other feelings, shame and embarrassment have baby after baby inside of me and so its Russian nesting dolls inside of Polish and Mexican nesting dolls (my weird ass ancestry). It makes me return to those dolls to acknowledge that some random white OC chick told me she thinks I’m beautiful, and I didn’t want to relive all my complicated feelings and so, in retelling the story to Marissa’s student, I did like an elephant. I truncated. I minimized. How dare I say that yes, I’ve been gawked at before.

A big, blonde chunk of what keeps me from discussing crap like the Buffalo Exchange incident is this, which was beautifully, funnily, and campily demonstrated by the movie Mean Girls.

Regina asks Cady to sit with her at lunch and…action!

image

Regina: You’re, like, really pretty.

Cady: Thank you.

Regina: So you agree?

Cady: What?

Regina: (judgingly) You think you’re really pretty.

Cady: Oh. I don’t know.

That’s a rule. The whole world may acknowledge a beautiful female object except that beautiful object must pretend not to know this quality. It must maintain the illusion of ignorance. The object must remain mute so as to maintain its status as both beautiful and object. Acknowledgement of beauty reduces (or, if you are a womanist, elevates) you to cunt. Seriously. I feel like every time I hear a woman called a cunt what is actually happening is punishment for an extreme assertion of selfhood. Cunthood is female subjectivity. Cunthood is mature embodiment. The word cunt is a mirror held up to women who acknowledge that there is someone in the mirror, someone capable of not just answering, but being an intelligent bitch about it. I feel like there is something very oral about calling someone a cunt. I always picture the epithet with teeth. Toothsome. Hungry. Laughing. Insatiable. Emasculating. Queen of everything.

image

Cunt as looking glass.

Nonetheless, the kind of art I’ve been making as part of this project, AMERICAN ABJECT, requires me to probe my shame. I have to witness it, acknowledge it, shake hands with it, hold hands with it, read its palm, play with it, dream with it, shower with it, and become best friends with it. I have to take it to the prom. Buy it dinner and a corsage. Working with my shame requires me to not just navel gaze but to really GAZE INTO MY CHASM IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Hand me a speculum.

I want to see my teeth.

Actor and academic Constance Zaytoun writes that “theatre is the perfect ‘flawed space’ that allows us to work through our shame.”

Which is why I turned Marissa’s classroom into my theatre. A theatre of the female gaze. A theatre of the cunty gaze.

However, before I did that, we were in conversation. Marissa talked to me about my short stories and other writings. We spoke about John Rechy’s City of Night. I professed my love for the grotesque and mutual discomfort. She asked me hard questions like what is queer which is something not even the goddesses can answer but whatevs. I think I asserted something like queerness is instability, it is W-T-F-ness, and its not necessarily a gendered or sexual thing. I brought up how I think you can be ethnically queer and then I said to the class, “How many of you have ever been asked, ‘What are you?’ when people are mining for your ethnic ancestry? Has it driven you crazy?” The ethnically queer nodded and looked around like YES! YES! and I explained how when people can’t peg you ethnically, you exude ethnic queerness. It is a very marked category, meaning a suspect category. One open for scrutiny. One associated with artifice. It has a lot in common with femininity. In some ways, ethnic queerness is femininity.

Once we were done being in conversation, I explained to the students that I was going to do a piece of performance art called LOOK AT ME. I said, “I’m going to set my timer for 60 seconds. You are going to look at me for one minute.”

After I commanded the scholars, I set my timer and the staring game began. Standing at the front of the panopticon (classroom) I could feel myself trembling, which I guess is queer, a symptom of instability, and I fidgeted, shook my legs, bounced slightly, and looked down at my fake hiking boots. However, I looked up a few times and strategically made eye contact with a handful of people for three seconds at the most before looking back down. I figured that the threat of eye contact might terrify some of my audience and terrorism is always interesting. My performance piece was a little bit Marina Abramobitchy (OMG I just thought of this…what if it became Abramovic and Fitch instead of Abercrombie and Fitch…?) except I gave it an almost focus group twist.

Once the staring was over, Marissa projected a set of prompts and questions on the screen behind me. I commanded the students to anonymously respond and bring me their papers.

What follows are these documents from LOOK AT ME.

Of course, as reparations for patriarchy, GIRLS TO THE FRONT.

(I love how girls even uptalk in their WRITING…! You’ll see what I mean…)

GIRLS…

1.Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? I felt like the person we were looking at didn’t like being looked at.

What were you looking at? I was looking at the eyes shifting from looking at us to looking down, weight shifting on legs, facial expression changing

Who is your favorite actress to look at? My favorite actress to look at is kajol (indian actress)

What do you like about looking at her? I find her aesthetic relatable to my own

Do I look like an artist? Yes, you look like an artist.

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Not sure about an actress.

What do artists look like? Artists have different looks. Shorter hairs. Half-half hairstyles. Plain clothing.

2. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? Curious

What were you looking at? How your facial expressions were changing

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Blake Lively

What do you like about looking at her? Her mannerisms and beauty

Do I look like an artist? Yes, very much so

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Yes, but I can’t pinpoint the name

What do artists look like? Confident, comfortable

3. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? A little confused because I was wondering what I was supposed to be looking at exactly. Was I supposed to be analyzing, admiring or just looking?

What were you looking at? I was looking at your tattoo. I think its an apple on your right arm and it reminded me of the forbidden fruit and temptation. I was wondering if it connected with your interest in grotesque topics.

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Angelina Jolie

What do you like about looking at her? Her performance

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Ruby Rose

What do artists look like? Not quite sure

image

4. Write your gender. female

How did you feel looking? interested in silence

What were you looking at? phone. eyes. belly

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Kristen Stewart

What do you like about looking at her? silence

Do I look like an artist? yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? not sure

What do artists look like? serious but funny

5. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? I felt awkward. I dislike eye contact.

What were you looking at? I was looking at your body language

Who is your favorite actress to look at? My favorite artist to look at is Zoe Saldana

What do you like about looking at her? She denies traditional gender notions (her husband took her last name) & she’s very pretty

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? No

What do artists look like? Artists, to me, look very interesting and performative without doing anything

6. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? At first I felt okay, but as time went on I felt as though I was invading your privacy

What were you looking at? I was looking at your haircut (I liked it!), your tattoos, and the shirt that you were wearing. I was also trying to look at your face but I was sitting too far back to discern your facial features. I have bad vision L

Who is your favorite actress to look at? An Indian Bollywood actress named Deepika Padukone

What do you like about looking at her? I like looking at her smile, her eyes, and her slender and tall body

Do I look like an artist? Yes, you do

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? You don’t really look like an actress that I’ve seen before

What do artists look like? Artists are “queer” like you said. They’re somewhat strange. Have interesting tattoos. Dress out of the “norm.” They set their own trends.

7. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? I feel neutral

What were you looking at? I was looking at you waiting for a minute to pass and others too

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Olivia Munn

What do you like about looking at her? She’s gorgeous & ethnically ambiguous or “queer”

Do I look like an artist? Yes, you do

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Kind of but I’m not sure her name…

What do artists look like? Artists look like themselves

8. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? I thought you were pretty. It was interesting because I don’t think that I’ve ever looked at someone that long. Lol.

What were you looking at? I was looking at you.

Who is your favorite actress to look at? My favorite actress to look at is Angelina Jolie

What do you like about looking at her? I think she is incredibly beautiful and extremely talented.

Do I look like an artist? Yes, you do look like an artist.

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Yes, you look like Ruby Rose

What do artists look like? I think an artist can be anything, male, female. An artist to me is someone that is different, isn’t afraid to be who they are, and isn’t ashamed of their art.

image

9. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? I felt like you were thinking and observing

What were you looking at? I was looking mainly at your face and how you were standing. What you were wearing.

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Angelina Jolie

What do you like about looking at her? Her facial expressions are flawless

Do I look like an artist? Yes you do

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Somewhat like Ruby Rose with your hair and body

What do artists look like? They’re unique and stand out. They aren’t afraid to be different or themselves.

image

10. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? It was a little humorous and silly.

What were you looking at? Your hair, its really voluminous and easy on the eyes

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Deepika Padukone

What do you like about looking at her? She’s just a bright personality and has a nice smile

Do I look like an artist? Sure

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Pryanka Chopra

What do artists look like? I don’t think there’s a definite look.

11. Write your gender. Woman

How did you feel looking? Weird, not sure what I was supposed to be doing beyond looking. I had to look away twice, but I’m not sure why.

What were you looking at? I was looking at your hair, your profile, your tattoos.

Who is your favorite actress to look at? My favorite actress to look at is Viola Davis

What do you like about looking at her? Her face is striking and unconventional

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? No

What do artists look like? Like humans who wear their sense of self openly, or not

12. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? Intrusive

What were you looking at? Your face

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Khalesi from Game of Thrones

What do you like about looking at her? Her eyes/eyebrows

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? No

What do artists look like? Queer

13. Write your gender Female

How did you feel looking? I felt fine because I felt like you couldn’t see me looking at your face

What were you looking at? Your face

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Maggie Q

What do you like about looking at her? She exudes strength & elegance

Do I look like an artist? Yes, you look like an artist

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? I guess I would say you’re closest to Halle Berry

What do artists look like? Unique

14. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? Uncomfortable, wanted to look down if there was going to be any eye contact

What were you looking at? Face, facial expression, buckling knees, hidden hands, arms, stiffened elbows, general body language read as feeling uncomfortable

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Scarlet Johnson (spell?)

What do you like about looking at her? Face

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? No

What do artists look like? Tattoos, colorful/unique hair

15. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? I was anticipating something to happen, it wasn’t awkward b/c no one was acting awkward about staring

What were you looking at? Your face, body language

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Meryl Streep

What do you like about looking at her? The way she portrays/embodies a character through all her mannerisms

Do I look like an artist? Yes and no, I feel like an artists implies someone extremely out of the norm but the reality is that it can be anyone

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? You look like Angelina Jolie

What do artists look like? Too subjective to answer

16. Write your gender. female

How did you feel looking? confused

What were you looking at? you looking shy, kinda

Who is your favorite actress to look at? hayden panettiere

What do you like about looking at her? her smile

Do I look like an artist? yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Scarlett Johanson

What do artists look like? creative people with cool hair or tattoos or piercings

17. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? Giggly

What were you looking at? Face, particularly eyes

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Emma Watson

What do you like about looking at her? her elegance, strength

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Not that I know of

What do artists look like? artists look like themselves but then not

18. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? Weird

What were you looking at? My eyes roamed from your face to your shoes

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Angelina Jolie

What do you like about looking at her? Her eyes

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom?

What do artists look like?

19. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? Neutral

What were you looking at? Myriam

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Emma Watson

What do you like about looking at her? She’s pretty

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Ginnifer Goodwin

What do artists look like? Very eccentric?

20. Write your gender. female

How did you feel looking? a bit awkward but fun

What were you looking at? I was looking at your face and your shirt and actually other people’s faces

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Christine Stewart (hope I’m spelling her name right)

What do you like about looking at her? Her looks, I guess? Kind of sleepy eyes.

Do I look like an artist? Yes, you do!

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Ummm…I cannot think of one now.

What do artists look like? Artists have their own unique style, like having a bunch of piercings…I guess. not so normal?

21. Write your gender. Female? – – or nothing

How did you feel looking? mildly amused

What were you looking at? face, shift

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Aisha Dee, Lucy Liu, Elodie Young

What do you like about looking at her? pretty. Interesting facial features

Do I look like an artist? I guess?

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? not sure

What do artists look like? anyone?

22. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? comfortable

What were you looking at? Myrium Gurba

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Reese Witherspoon

What do you like about looking at her? confidence/beauty/strength

Do I look like an artist? yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? yes, any actress w/ confidence/beauty/strength

What do artists look like? creative

23. Write your gender. female

How did you feel looking? I felt silly looking at you without sustaining my laugh

What were you looking at? I was looking at you, Myriam

Who is your favorite actress to look at? My favorite actress to look at is Blake Lively

What do you like about looking at her? I like looking at how dramatic yet sweet she is.

Do I look like an artist? I think you do look like an artist.

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? You don’t look like a particular actress I’ve looked at.

What do artists look like? Artists look like anything. They are unique and versatile. Non-conformists.

24. Write your gender. feminine/female

How did you feel looking? It was a bit tiring looking

What were you looking at? I was looking only at you

Who is your favorite actress to look at? I like Kate Winslet

What do you like about looking at her? She comes off as friendly?

Do I look like an artist? I suppose you look like an artist.

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? I can’t name a person.

What do artists look like? Artists tend to be flamboyant or minimal

25. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? It can feel strange to stare at someone

What were you looking at? Myriam. I was watching how still and focus you are.

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Charlize Theron

What do you like about looking at her?

Do I look like an artist? Yes you look like an artist

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? You probably get this all the time but Angelina Jolie.

What do artists look like? Artists don’t have a look anyone can be an artist

26. Write your gender. female

How did you feel looking? kind of awkward because we’re just staring at you…

What were you looking at? face, hair, tattoos, outfit

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Kiko Mizahara

What do you like about looking at her? she looks relatively “normal,” like me, plays “normal” roles

Do I look like an artist? yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? No? not very sure:)

What do artists look like? Artists look like anything! Sorry, can’t think of a more eloquent answer:)

27. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? Fine; expecting something; feelings of anticipation

What were you looking at? A person

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Scarlett Johanson

What do you like about looking at her? She’s pretty: Looks intense

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Nope

What do artists look like? Themselves

28. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? fine, you’re very pretty!

What were you looking at? your hair

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Vanessa Hudgens

What do you like about looking at her? her beauty

Do I look like an artist? yes!

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? yes! Ruby Rose

What do artists look like? different, not the “normal” stereotype of beauty

image

29. Write your gender. female

How did you feel looking? I felt like an observer

What were you looking at? A person with tattoos and cool hair

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Emma Stone

What do you like about looking at her? Her face and hair

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? I’m not sure.

What do artists look like? creative

30. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? uncomfortable, awkward

What were you looking at? Face, upper body/shirt

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Kendall Jenner

What do you like about looking at her? her face and body are beautiful – it motivates me

Do I look like an artist? no

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Yes, but I can’t figure out who

What do artists look like? I think artists look kind of hipster

31. Write your gender. Female

How did you feel looking? uncomfortable

What were you looking at? eyes/hair

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Jolie

What do you like about looking at her? she seems like a badass

Do I look like an artist? no

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? no

What do artists look like? I don’t think there is a particular way. Some are very fancy looking others have a more laid back look, etc. some are also very boring looking

32. Write your gender. F

How did you feel looking? confused

What were you looking at? your face

Who is your favorite actress to look at? J-Lo

What do you like about looking at her? She’s funny

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Yes, don’t remember the name

What do artists look like? Fancy, upper class, well dressed, happy

DUDES…

33. Write your gender. Male

How did you feel looking? blurry eyed

What were you looking at? features, presentation of self

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Margot Robbie

What do you like about looking at her? her presentation of self and her acting

Do I look like an artist? yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? hair reminds me of the lady from Orange is the new black

What do artists look like? creative

image

34. Write your gender. male

How did you feel looking? intrigued

What were you looking at? you

Who is your favorite actress to look at: unsure

What do you like about looking at her?

Do I look like an artist? you do look like an artist

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom?

What do artists look like? artists come in all shapes and forms. we are all creative. There isn’t a “look” for a typical artist.

35. Write your gender. Male

How did you feel looking? Awkward

What were you looking at? A female

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Scarlet Johanson

What do you like about looking at her? Beauty

Do I look like an artist? Maybe

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? No

What do artists look like? Similar to your look. Tattoos, short hair

36. Write your gender. Male

How did you feel looking? Creepy

What were you looking at? Face, hair, movement

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Lucy Liu

What do you like about looking at her? The character she shows

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Ruby Rose

What do artists look like? They look like they break conventional social norms

 

image

37. Write your gender. Male?

How did you feel looking? Patient

What were you looking at? Your face and your reactions to sounds in the room

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Daisy Ridley

What do you like about looking at her? Her expressions

Do I look like an artist? Sure

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? I don’t know.

What do artists look like? Anyone

38. Write your gender. Male

How did you feel looking? i was super intrigued, the feeling was pure curiosity

What were you looking at? your face, what your body was doing, where you were looking, also your hair, your make-up, the tattoos on your right arm

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Scarlet Johanson

What do you like about looking at her? her facial expressions and RBF (resting bitch face)

Do I look like an artist? yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? no, you’re unique

What do artists look like? they look like people

39. Write your gender. Male

How did you feel looking? Amused

What were you looking at? Your face and expressions

Who is your favorite actress to look at? I don’t know.

What do you like about looking at her? Would probably be their face????

Do I look like an artist? Nah, you look like a cool, normal person.

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? Not exactly, I can’t think of anyone.

What do artists look like? Artists are just normal peepz when not on camera but look a lot more glamorous and distinguished on camera

40. Write your gender. Male

How did you feel looking? Intrigued

What were you looking at? Your eyes, an noticed body movement

Who is your favorite actress to look at? I don’t have one

What do you like about looking at her? Eyes, what are you thinking

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? No

What do artists look like? Usually non-conformist. Usually dressed better than most. Inquisitive

41. Write your gender. M

How did you feel looking? Hungry

What were you looking at? You

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Emma Watson

What do you like about looking at her? British

Do I look like an artist? Yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? No

What do artists look like? People

42. Write your gender. Male

How did you feel looking? Nervous

What were you looking at? face and torso

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Angelina Jolie

What do you like about looking at her? her face [lips]

Do I look like an artist? yes

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? I don’t know of many actors/actresses; you could look like one you are petit

What do artists look like? stereotype: glasses, tattoos [optional] , hipster

43. Write your gender. Male

How did you feel looking? I felt as if I was the one being stared at. a little uncomfortable.

What were you looking at? I was looking at your own gaze and following where ever your gaze would go.

Who is your favorite actress to look at? I don’t particularly have a favorite actress to look at.

What do you like about looking at her? Therefore, I wouldn’t know how to answer what I like about looking at her.

Do I look like an artist? Yes, you look like an artist. I mean everyone looks like an artist because everyone is unique in their own way.

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom?

What do artists look like? You are unique and I love the ‘new’ that you bring to the “artist” atmosphere

44. Write your gender. Male

How did you feel looking? Curious

What were you looking at? Tattoos, layering of clothes

Who is your favorite actress to look at? Rooney Mara

What do you like about looking at her? Her chameleon-like abilities

Do I look like an artist? If I didn’t know anything about you, I may not have known

Do I look like an actress you’ve looked at? Whom? You remind me a bit of Ruby Rose

What do artists look like? They can look like lots of things.

image

LOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATME

I am not providing any analysis of these documents from LOOK AT ME. The analysis is yours to make. Also, after losing my performance art cherry, I went out for pizza.

image

NEXT WEEK: War of the gazes at my local HOOTERS.